When will it get easier?
I am trying so hard to stay positive and focused. I just left CYFD; we had an IAP for our newest addition, Baby H. She is two weeks old and such a blessing in our lives. Reunification is critical with fostering but sometimes you look at this child’s situation, and you just know the best interest of this child is our Family. I try so hard not to judge and give the parents the benefit of the doubt. How can anyone do something so cruel to these precious bundles of joy? Such an innocent soul and yet have been through more than I have in life.
I am trying to wrap my mind around all this chaos, but I just can’t. I am slowly breaking inside. It is not just Baby H; I have four other kids who are in foster care as well. It hurts so bad to see these children go through this. What hurts the most is when the children beg to be adopted because they are so attached. They just want a forever home. A SAFE home! I am far from perfect parent material, but I give 110% to my kids. I wake up every morning to prove to them that someone cares. I go above and beyond for THEM!
I have balanced being a parent, but I am struggling with the “foster” part. I know it will never get easier, but I need to find peace. My heart aches too much to see another child go back to a place that won’t provide as we do.
Sorry for my rant but right now I am sitting at Taco bell parking lot waiting to go back to pick up Baby H from her visit, and this was on mind. So for now I am not sure when it will get easier, all I know is that I have to stay strong for my little loves.