A letter to our daughter’s mother: our adoption story.

We are approaching our adoption, and I am overwhelmed with so many emotions. This adoption has been a long-awaited moment, and we can’t wait to see what our future holds with our daughter. 
Throughout this whole process, it has been heavy in my heart to write to our daughter’s Biological mom. I know little about her but just want to thank her for giving our daughter life but Most importantly giving her a second chance in life.

To the wonderful woman who gave life to our daughter,
I just want you to know we are proud to call her our daughter. The beautiful gift we were very fortunate to receive, is telling me what a significant loss another woman experienced. I don’t mean that by any disrespect. You pushed aside your selfish acts to make sure she has a better future and with that shows how beautiful you truly are. Don’t think for a moment that she won’t know who you are and where she came from.
It takes a lot for someone to realize that this precious gift deserves the world. For whatever reason, no judgment on your part, you were unable to give this child the future they deserve. I just want you to know I can’t thank you enough for being brave and making sure your child’s future is going to be magical. I want you to know she is very loved and well taken care of. She has grown so much and is such a beautiful young lady. I appreciate that you carried this child under your heart and gave her life.
So please don’t feel ashamed or guilty because you gave her up for adoption. I speak of you with all the respect you deserve because you gave our daughter a second chance. You gave her life, and we thank you for that. I don’t want you to worry, her father and I will treasure and guard her with our lives. I will make sure she has the best opportunities in life.
We will honor the sacrifice you made when you made the impossible choice to give her up for adoption.
Thank you for this amazing child. No matter what she will know who you are and what brave choice you made and how much you love her for doing this.
Thank you and Take care.
Julian and Kristina Ortega

Perfect Mom!

I am the perfect mom……

 

Being a mom has been such a blessing. It is something I never thought I would have the title “mom.” After years of trying we finally decided to adopt. I was determined to become a mom one way or another. We eventually chose to foster to adopt. Julian and I, were told we had a better chance to get a newborn which is what I wanted so badly. I wanted nothing to do with older kids. Little did I know God had other plans.

Julian and I have been foster parents for 16 months and have had over 30 kids in our home. So many people approach me while in public, on-line, family, friends, case workers, clients, etc. they always tell me you have it all together. Your kids are so well behaved. You make parenting look so easy. You are such a good momma. I wish I were like you. You are such a perfect mom! I ENVY YOU!!! Teach me your secrets…….. STOP!

I dislike being put on the spot. Don’t get me wrong I love when my kids have made a good impression on others. It makes me feel proud as a parent. I do not like when others put me on this pedal stool and worship me. Every child is different, every situation I handle differently. Guess what I don’t have it all together!!! There are no secrets. I go to bed every night thinking to myself; I shouldn’t have told my son/daughter that. I always try harder the next day to be better for my KIDS! No one else but my kids. My world revolves around them, and I love every minute of it. Knowing I can make a positive impact on their lives is my reward. So no I am not the perfect mom, actually far from it. What I have is an imperfect life with imperfect kids and imperfect husband and imperfect dogs. Who by the way just ate all of our deserts. Thank you fur kids, hope you enjoyed it.

I look at every mom and just want to hug her. I want her to know that the mom she is envying has the same flaws just like she does. We mess up every day. I do it more than once every day. What I can tell you is I don’t stress over the small stuff and take every moment with my children and embrace it. I teach my kids the basic manners just like you have with yours. I do homework every night just like you do. I repeat myself 1000000 times to go put their shoes up, just like you do. I am just like you! Your four your old told you No, guess what so did mine. Your teenage rolled her eyes; mine did too. Your kids started to fight over a toy; mine did too. You were on an urgent phone call and gave your kids the evil, guess what so did I ! I also mouthed “go way” just in case you were wondering. You lost your mind during breakfast because you have children whining they are hungry, me too! Guess what they cried breakfast was taking forever I walked away and said eat cereal! Teach them to complain again. So yes I am very imperfect, and I don’t regret any minute of it, I am still learning, and my kids teach me every day to try harder the next day.

We are raising them to go out into the world to be decent human beings, Not robots.

So if you want to call me a “Perfect Mom” well I just joined your party late. We are all Perfect in our way! Enjoy your kids and forget about trying to be cookie cutter mommy.

-Love always, an Imperfect Mother

xoxo
Photo credit: google

Teach them!

onion

Do you ever look at your kids and just think how blessed you are to have them in your life?

I have a 14 yr old daughter, and we are in the process of adopting. Lately, we have been teaching her how to cook and become more independent. We start to tell her the ingredients to our homemade chicken Fajitas. She seems to be understanding the process pretty well, so I give her a task to cut the onions. I ask her do you know how to put an onion and she immediately gets a little hurt and replies “yes!” I didn’t even think that it may offend her. My mom taught me, so I just assumed that maybe nobody had taught her.

As I watched her struggling with this onion, I knew she desperately wanted to show me she could cut this onion but you could tell she was having a heck of a time. I sat down at the table with her and said “would you like me to show you how your grandma taught me and how your great grandmother taught her?” she instantly handed over the onion with the biggest smile!

I showed her how I was taught, and that smile on her face was priceless. It wasn’t the onion that made me cry that night. It was that moment knowing I am now able to show my kids what my parents taught me. The simplest thing like cutting an onion can make you realize just how blessed you truly are. Given the opportunity to share what tools I had learned as a child too. I felt so blessed to have a mother who cared enough to know that the basic skills of cooking were needed in life.

She thanked me and said, “now I get to show my kids when I get older.” Simple things in life that make you appreciate everything.

I look at my children and know I am blessed to have them in my life. To be able to teach them what they need to do to function every day. We as parents are given an opportunity to show our children how amazing life is. Hopefully one day they can teach their own the same. Continue a positive parenting throughout each generation. It depends on us to show them now to make that happen.

 

 

*photo credit google*